An Old Friend

'Would you look at that!'

'Wow.' Connie's eyes grew even bigger than they normally were. 'There must be a million of them!'

Eleanor Parkin-White smiled at her daughter's estimation of the number of multi-coloured balloons festooning the outside of the house. 'Perhaps not quite a million, but there's an awful lot.'

'I'm counting them...' said Edward, his eyes narrowed to concentrate his vision.

'Do you want to go to this party or not?'

'Course I do,' he scowled.

'Then stop counting or you'll be in the car another hour.'

Eleanor parked the Range Rover on the end of a long line of cars, and followed the children into the house. Judging by the party-like background noise they weren't the first to arrive, even though there wasn’t a soul inside. A beautiful summer's day, all the fun was happening in the garden.

Connie and Edward had already vanished, running off to join their mates, and give Aaron the birthday boy his present. Eleanor wandered into the garden to say hello to the boy's father. In her mind she’d already decided to do the decent thing, say a quick hi and then beat a hasty retreat and leave them all to it. Somehow, even after all the years that had passed since her childhood, lots of noisy people in the same place didn’t sit so easy.

Dan's face broke into a huge smile as he saw her walking across the terrace. 'Hey,' he called out. 'Fancy a drink?' Eleanor glanced over, and saw him standing by a huge glass bowl, ladling out plastic cups to already-thirsty kids. He grinned sheepishly. 'It's... um... well, I'm not exactly sure what you'd call it. Other than a carefully-blended mix of every soft drink we possess! Aaron's concoction, not mine. Just thought I'd get that bit in before you taste it.'

Eleanor looked him up and down. 'You about to audition for the lead in a sequel to Elf, Dan?'

'Don't you start. Aaron said I looked like Will Ferrell.'

'You do.'

'So what do you think of my new look?'

'It suits you.'

He handed her a cup of the brew. 'Not quite sure how to take that.'

Eleanor winked at him, threw out a deliberately-wicked smile. 'And you'll never know, 'cause I ain't sayin'!'

‘Tease. You sticking around for a while?'

'Wasn't planning to… pixies and elves not really my scene.'

'Aw, and I thought you might have come as Tinkerbelle.'

‘What, so you could watch me parade around all afternoon in a skirt up to my butt?'

'As if I would.'

'Hmm...' She glanced around the large garden. Dan had sure pulled out all the stops. Little elves and pixies were bouncing up and down on a huge inflatable castle on one side of the lawn, a DJ was bouncing up and down to his own loud music on the other side. Further along the terrace, professional caterers were busying themselves preparing to flame-grille a thousand burgers and hot-dogs.

'No expense spared, hey Dan?'

His head lowered. 'Well, you know... it's for Aaron.' He glanced back up, a sad look creasing his face. 'Am I over-compensating?'

Eleanor gave him a hug, and felt his hands tremble a little as they briefly held each other close. 'No, but you're a brilliant father all of the time, and Aaron knows that. It's great you're willing to go the extra mile and do things like this... but it’s not obligatory.'

He wiped away a sudden tear with a slightly-shaking hand. 'I know. Sometimes it's hard to get the balance right, Ellie. Trying to be a mother and a father is like walking a tightrope.' He managed an ironic smile. 'Don't know why I just said that, you've already bought that t-shirt.'

Eleanor nodded her agreement, a little sadly. 'It gets easier, Dan.' She slipped a hand around his. 'But that's not so hard for me to say... it's been six years since my husband died, not even two yet for you.'

Her hand was squeezed a little tighter, and Dan’s sad eyes lowered to the floor again. 'Guess a day like this brings it home. Maybe that's why I go overboard… partly for me, mostly so Aaron has such a good time on his birthday he forgets he doesn't have a mother anymore.'

Eleanor slipped a finger under his chin, and lifted his face so their eyes had to meet. 'Hey, don't ever let him forget that... and you remember that once the bad memories fade, it's the good ones that stay forever.'

'Thank you.'

'For what?'

'Just for being here. For being you I suppose.'

'Kindred spirits, you and me,' Eleanor laughed as she headed off to say hello to Aaron. 'But I'm still not dressing up as Tinkerbelle for you!'

Eleanor skipped down the terrace steps and across the lawn to find Aaron. She knew Dan would be watching her, but she didn't mind. A chance meeting at the school gates six months ago had been the start of a friendship, once they’d discovered they had something in common.

Losing someone you loved very much gave them both a lot to talk about.

For Eleanor that kind of loss was nothing new. In her forty-one years she'd already been through it twice. Her parents were killed in a car accident when she was just twelve years old, and then as a grown woman, three years after Connie and Edward were born, her husband had died too, gone from their life after an illness so short none of them had the time to come to terms with it before he was ripped away.

Six years on the pain was still there, but time had helped put the hurt on the back burner. Yet for Dan, life as a single parent was still new. There would be a lot of dark days he would have to get through before the sunshine came again.

In one respect he’d known joy. He’d fallen in love with the woman he never believed would love him back, but was then broken into pieces when she died. Eleanor knew all about that particular joy, and especially that particular loss.

She felt a small hand slip into hers, and looked down to see Connie's cheeky grin.

'I saw you.'

'Saw me?'

'Yes, I saw you cuddling Dan.'

'Did you now?' Eleanor smiled, suddenly reminded that Connie had never been afraid to come right out and say what she thought. 'And I wasn't cuddling him; we just had a quick hug. There's a difference. He... well, days like this can be sad for him.'

Connie's eyes fell to the ground. 'I know.' She glanced back up again, the grin back. 'But I still think you two should get together. Properly I mean.'

'Oh really?' Eleanor shook her head at her daughter's no-nonsense words.

'It makes sense mum, you need another man in your life.'

'Nine years old and you're giving me relationship counselling?'

Connie grinned. 'Kids know best, grown-ups don't know nothin'! Dad wouldn't mind, he'd want you to be happy.'

'I am happy.'

Connie turned to run back to her friends, calling out as she went, 'But you could be even happier.'

Eleanor shook her head as she watched her far-too-intelligent daughter disappear into a crowd of pixies. Maybe she was right, perhaps she could be happier. Not so lonely, at least. But she had all she needed… Connie and Edward were her life, and apart from someone to snuggle up to in the evenings, she wanted for nothing.

She and a friend had opened a florists shop ten years ago. Today there were six outlets, and Eleanor happily let the staff run the shops for her. She worked hard in the background, mostly from home, which gave her more time to devote to the children. It was a nice way to be, when you were both parents wrapped up into one body.

Comfortable in her own skin, she was a smart attractive woman. There had been no shortage of offers once the word got around she was on her own again. It seemed at one time half the single men in town were queuing up to date her.

She'd refused every single one of them.

Eleanor didn't need anyone else in her life, but the thought crossed her mind that maybe Connie did. Mercifully Edward was too young when his father died. He never really knew what it was like to grow up with another parent around. It was different for Connie… in the three years they'd spent together, a strong bond had formed between her and her father, and there had been many a night after he’d gone when mum and daughter cuddled up together, sharing more than a few tears.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t notice the birthday boy until he ran headlong into her. He looked horrified that he'd almost knocked her to the ground, but then they both burst into fits of giggles, had a quick hug, and he ran off again. He looked happy, like he was having the day of his life. She made a mental note to remember to tell Dan before she left what a good job he'd done.

A few feet away, a low stone wall bordering a raised flower bed formed a natural seat. She sat down to watch the elves and pixies a while, deciding to stick around after all. A hot August sun was beating down relentlessly into the garden, and she was glad she'd topped the long white dress with a big wide-rimmed summer hat.

She felt good. She’d made an effort to look nice, she wasn't sure why... it was only a kid's party, and she hadn't intended staying. The dress was pulled in around her waist with a wide red belt, and over-sized red-rimmed sunglasses contrasted nicely with her long black hair, and gave her world a warm, pink-tinted filter.

She finished the sip of the brew that had managed to stay in the cup after the collision with Aaron, and decided to watch the kids for another couple of minutes before going to offer Dan some moral support. Over in one corner of the lawn, a few elves were playing daft games amongst some tall apple trees. Suddenly another boy joined them, dropping out of one of the trees where he'd been hidden from her view by the leaves.

Eleanor’s breath hitched violently. Her world crashed to freeze-frame. Eyes she couldn’t tear away stared at the boy in disbelief, the shock of what she was seeing sending an instant chill through her, and turning her body to stone.

It wasn't the boy, it was his outfit. His parents had gone the extra mile; a green hat with a red brim sat at a cheeky angle on his head, a dark green tunic was punctuated by big gold buttons running down the front, and a brown leather belt sat around his waist. Red and white leggings dropped to short green boots that curled upwards at the toes. He looked every bit the image of everyone's happy elf.

And identical in every way to someone Eleanor once knew.

Her heart pounding like a jackhammer, she watched as he played happily, blissfully unaware of the emotions he was stabbing like spears into the woman who couldn’t look away. She couldn't take her eyes off him. How could this be?

No, it couldn't be. Her mind was playing tricks.

She wrenched her stare away, took off the sunglasses and rubbed her eyes. Her hands were shaking, her palms sweating. The sudden brightness of the mid-afternoon sun forced her eyes to close. It was one of the hottest days of the year, but her skin had broken out into a million goose bumps, and she was shivering with cold.

She put the glasses back over her eyes, and opened them reluctantly. For a moment she couldn't see the boy, and began to think it was just a trick of the mind after all. Then he reappeared, running out from behind the trunk of one of the trees.

It couldn't be happening. There must be hundreds of different elf costumes in the world, so why was the exact one here?

Why now?

It just wasn't possible. The little boy playing so innocently was the elf who had become her best friend... another lifetime ago.

She tried to look away, she couldn't. She tried to move away, so she wouldn't have to stare trance-like at the boy. Her legs didn't seem to want to work.

As she watched him, the memories came flooding back. Terrifying recollections of a time in her life she'd shut out of her mind for so many years, because they were just too awful to remember.

Eleanor Parkin-White was the proud mum of two wonderful children… a confident, beautiful woman in total control of her life.

It hadn't always been that way.

Once upon a time it was all very, very different....

Chapter 1

'Ellie!'

The sound of her grandmother's curt voice wafted up the dark steep staircase. Ellie White jumped off the bed and stuck her head over the stair-rail.

'Yes, grandma?'

'I want you to cook dinner tonight. My arthritis is playing up something rotten.'

Her brown eyes dropped to the floor. Arguing was pointless, she knew. But she still had to try. 'But grandma, I've got a project to finish.’

'And I've got stiff fingers. Egg and chips will do, you can manage that, can't you?'

She disappeared through the door to the sitting room, not bothering to wait for an answer to the question that wasn't a question at all. Ellie nodded sadly, even though there was no one to nod to, and walked slowly back into her room. The tears wanted to come again but she fought them away, telling herself for the thousandth time this was her life now, and she'd just have to get on with it.

She'd worked so hard to make the history project special. It was almost done, but there was still at least a couple of hours work. Keeping her number one position in the history class was important, too important to lose. Now she had to cook dinner, as well as do the washing-up afterwards. She sighed, resigning herself to a late night.

Schoolwork came easily to Ellie. School didn't. She dreaded each day, and breathed a sigh of relief when it was time to go home. As she walked back to her grandparent's house, her footsteps always seemed to grow heavy. The life she had at home was no better than the life she had at school.

Intelligence, and a desire to do her best, was all Ellie had.

There was nothing else.

She ran down the stairs, headed into the small kitchen, pulled a few potatoes from the pantry and began to peel them.

'And don't singe the eggs this time,' her grandmother's voice came through the open doorway. 'They were browner than your grandfather's boots last week.'

'No, grandma.'

She looked around the tiny kitchen as she prepared the simple dinner. It was a depressing room, but then again the whole house was depressing. It was the early nineties, and yet inside her home it was still the early sixties. An old ceramic butler sink had wooden draining-boards fixed either side of it; a tall green-and-yellow painted storage unit with pebble-glass sliding doors on the top stood against one wall, concealing tins of ham, corned-beef and baked beans.

They did have a fridge, amazingly. Quite a new one, but only because the old one gave up the ghost, and was so vintage they couldn't get the parts anymore. The only other appliance in the room was an ancient gas oven standing in one corner, which had to be lit with a match.

At least after a few months Ellie had finally got the knack of lighting it, so the kitchen didn't fill with the vague smell of burnt flesh anymore.

She sighed to herself again as she lifted the heavy blackened pan filled with cooking fat from the cupboard next to the sink, and placed it onto one of the rings. As she prepared the meal she organised the evening in her head... another twenty minutes or so to cook dinner, eat it as quickly as possible, then a little more time to do the washing up. Finally then she could escape to her room to lose herself in finishing the history project.

Then a late bed, porridge for breakfast, and it would be time to face the ordeal of school once more.

'At least the eggs are better this time.' Her grandfather gave her a grudging sort-of-compliment.

'Glad you like my cooking, granddad.' Despite the fear, Ellie couldn’t entirely keep the sarcasm from her tone.

'Don't be so cheeky, young lady,' said her grandmother.

'Sorry, grandma.' Ellie went back to her dinner, and ate the last mouthful. Her grandfather filled his pipe, sucked away a few times as he held a match to the bowl, and then blew a huge cloud of grey smoke out across the table.

'Arthur!' said her grandmother sharply. 'How many times have I told you? She’s only a child, and she doesn't want to share your filthy habit.'

He pulled an exasperated face, but nevertheless dragged his overweight frame out of the chair, and headed for the dralon armchair on the far side of the room. 'Never did me any harm,' he muttered.

'That's a matter of opinion.'

Ellie began to stack the empty plates. 'It's ok grandma, time to do the washing up anyway.'

'Wait a minute, I need to talk to you.'

She sat down again, a little curiously. Her grandmother hardly ever had anything to say to her, other than giving out orders. She dutifully waited to be given the list of chores she was expecting.

'I have to go into hospital tomorrow, just for a few days. Getting some treatment on my poor old joints. So I just wanted to warn you, you'll have to look after your grandfather while I'm gone.'

Ellie's heart sank. That was the last thing she needed. The man was a bully, and not at all reluctant to take his belt to her when he felt it was needed. Or sometimes when he just simply felt like it. But he never swung the belt when her grandmother was around, because like most bullies he was a coward inside. Now she wasn't going to have that protection for a few days, and she knew for sure what it would mean.

An anger she couldn’t explain began to bubble up inside her… anger fuelled by fear of the punishment that would inevitably come her way. Despite trying her hardest to stop it, the fear and the anger boiled over.

'Does he ever actually do anything for himself?' she spat out.

'Ellie.' Her grandmother pierced a defiant stare into her, but spoke quietly. 'You shouldn't talk like that. Your grandfather comes from a time when men went out to work and women stayed at home to look after their husbands. Even though he's retired now, he still knows no other way.'

'Well it stinks. He'll hit me when you're gone.'

'Come now, Ellie, you know that's not true.' Her grandmother looked away, a strange expression on her face. 'Just... just don't do anything to anger him, and it will be fine.'

'Me just being here makes him angry.'

'You mustn't say that.'

'Well it's true. Neither of you want me here, do you?'

'Of course we do.' Her grandmother forced a smile, but the reassurance was emotionless and hollow. They both knew it.

'I'm going to do the washing up.' Ellie stood quickly and gathered up the dishes, heading into the kitchen so no one would see her eyes misting up. She had her hands in a bowl full of hot water when she felt an arm around her shoulder.

'You must understand Ellie, since your parents died we've all had to face big changes. And it has only been just over a year, none of us have really had time to come to terms with it. You lost your mother and father at far too young an age, but we lost a daughter we loved very much too. Your grandfather... I suppose it has hit him hardest of all. He isn't coping too well.'

Ellie felt a tear run down her cheek, but kept her head low so her grandmother wouldn't see. 'I know grandma, but he shouldn't take it out on others.'

'No, he shouldn't.' The words were almost a whisper.

Ellie's grandmother gave her a quick hug and left the room. She didn't want her granddaughter to see the tears in her eyes either.

Chapter 2

Ellie woke just before her alarm went off. Seconds later, as it always did, the dull ache of her harsh reality screwed up her stomach as she thought about the day ahead.

Another day at school, another day of being downtrodden and taunted. One more day of being made to realise girls like her weren’t welcome. They called her Wisp, a name conjured up by Sarah Smith, the worst bully of all. ‘You’re like a wisp of smoke,’ she’d growled at her one day. ‘One little puff and you disappear, like you were never there.’

The name had stuck. First with Sarah and her cronies, and then with half the school. Maybe she was right to call her that... losing her parents had gone hand in hand with losing her confidence, and losing the will to fight back. Now all she did was drift away from confrontation, as helpless as the wisp of smoke that blew away to nothing in the breeze.

Like it was never there.

At least today she could hand in the history project. She knew it was good, knew it would be marked well, and knew she would be mocked by most of the other kids because she cared so much about her schoolwork.

She crawled reluctantly out of the safe comfort of her bed, and glanced briefly at her pale, thin face in the mirror attached to the old dressing table by two dark wood posts. She dressed quickly, ran a comb briefly through her long black hair, and headed downstairs to find some breakfast.

A small case was sitting on the floor in the hallway, next to the front door. She found her grandmother in the living room, putting a few bits into her handbag. She looked up as Ellie walked in.

'I was just coming to call you. I have to go in a few minutes. It’s two buses to the hospital.'

'Grandma, call a taxi. You shouldn't use the bus, not today.'

'I can't, Ellie, your grandfather wouldn't approve.'

'Stuff him. He's just mean. Where is he anyway?'

'He's still asleep. I didn't want to disturb him.'

Ellie threw her hands into the air, a look of disgust on her face. 'That’s a nice caring attitude. He should be going with you.'

Her grandmother shook her head. 'It's best I go on my own, Ellie. Now remember what I said... just do as he asks and he won't get angry. Promise me?'

'I promise,' Ellie replied reluctantly. 'But it won't make any difference.'

Her grandmother didn't answer. Ellie shook her head, and headed to the kitchen to cook herself a small bowl of porridge. Five minutes later her grandmother gave her a quick hug, and left to catch the bus.

As the door slammed shut, Ellie’s heart began to beat faster. Suddenly she felt alone, vulnerable. It was just her and granddad. For a moment she felt sick, the dread of the next few days doing its best to overwhelm her. She gave herself a mental slap, and forced herself to think clearly. There was one way to minimise the damage... keep out of his way as much as possible.

She finished the porridge, and quickly washed up the pots, knowing it would be a good excuse for the belt if they were left until later. She ran up the stairs to her room, heard her grandfather cough from behind his door, and knew he was awake.

The schoolbooks were stuffed into her red school bag in record-breaking time, and the stairs taken two at once. As she reached the front door, the sound of the bedroom door opening filled her with dread for a split second, but then she breathed a sigh of relief, knowing she’d escaped just in time.

A cold winter's wind smacked her in the face as she headed along the short pathway to the road. A few flakes of snow were just beginning to settle on the ground as she closed the old wooden gate, pulling the scarf tight around her cheeks.

It was December, just a week until Christmas. Two more days of school, and that ordeal would be over for a fortnight. As she walked, she kept glancing upwards into the grey sky. The snow was getting heavier. Her heart grew heavier too. Without her realising it her steps were becoming shorter, as awful memories she didn’t want came flooding back.

Ellie hated this time of year, and she hated the snow. It was just before Christmas her parents were taken from her, driving home from shopping for presents when a huge truck jack-knifed in front of them and destroyed their car.

The snow caused the truck driver to lose control. So now, when everywhere is white and other children are running around having winter fun, Ellie shuts herself away and tries to not even look out of the window.

They didn't say much about how her mother and father died, trying to protect a twelve-year-old from the horrific details. She was just told it was a road accident. Months later, unanswered questions festered into an obsession, and she decided she needed to know the truth. In the library, she found what she was searching for in the newspaper archives.

It was all there, every horrific detail. She read the reports until it became too much, and ran from the library with tears streaming down her face.

There was even a picture of the car.

What was left of it.

Chapter 3

As Ellie reached the school gates, Sarah Smith was getting out of her parents very-expensive car. She was one of those girls… tall, slim and confident, natural-blonde hair made even blonder by added ingredients. She had a lot of mates, all less-attractive, who hung around with her because they wanted to be seen as her friend.

That made it very easy for Sarah to call the shots, especially when they were aimed at an easy target she really didn't like.

She saw Ellie walking into school. 'Hey, Wisp,' she called out. 'You'd better not show me up today.'

'I don't show you up, Sarah, you manage that all by yourself.'

She didn’t seem to like that, and began to head angrily towards Ellie, but then realised her mother was still watching by the car, so pointed a menacing finger at her instead. 'Just watch your back, dork. Know what I mean?'

Ellie shuddered. She knew exactly what Sarah Smith meant. Then again, there was only today and tomorrow, and then school would be over for a while, so there wasn't so long to make sure she kept out of her sight.

She hung her coat onto her peg in the cloakroom, took off the glasses and dried the melted snow off them. They were nerdy glasses, and didn't do anything for her appearance, but they were all she'd got. A while back she'd had a much nicer pair, but one day Sarah Smith had stamped on them in a fit of anger, and her grandparents wouldn't get her anything other than the cheapest they could find.

She'd asked them to let her have contact lenses fitted, but her grandfather had laughed at her sarcastically, and told her she was far too young to be so vain.

She didn't ask again.

Ellie and Sarah didn't have lessons together until history, the first period of the afternoon. The morning passed without incident, and then over lunch Ellie ate the ham sandwiches she’d made for herself as she hunted through the books in the library, trying to decide what to read next.

Then it was time for the afternoon session. Mr. Brown the history teacher collected the projects, and gave his pupils something to keep them occupied while he glanced through the stack of folders on his desk. Ellie watched as he looked through the pile, pulling out hers first.

She liked Mr. Brown. He looked about fifty years old, and had big hairy sideburns dropping almost to his chin. He always wore tweedy jackets and thin patterned ties, which often didn't match very well with his shirt.

He always took the time to help his kids if they needed it. He spent time with Ellie even though she didn't need it, because he knew she wanted to learn. He was a kind man, and out of all the teachers in school he'd been there for her since she'd started. She told him more of her innermost fears than anyone else.

She noticed a smile spread across his face as he flicked through the pages of her project. Then he looked quickly through a few others. He shook his head slowly… someone's work hadn't pleased him.

It was probably Sarah's.

He glanced up to the class. Please don't say anything, Mr. Brown.

He didn't hear her thought. 'I'll go through these properly later, and give them back to you tomorrow. But well done again Ellie, looks like you're still on top form. As for some of the rest of you... well, what do I say, Sarah?'

A voice spoke quietly from somewhere deep in the class, just loud enough for Ellie to hear. 'Teacher's pet strikes again.'

Mr. Brown wasn't amused. In the eyes of his pupils he was quite old, but despite that he possessed a special gift. Supersonic hearing. Anyone else wouldn't have heard that remark, but unfortunately for Sarah, Mr. Brown did. He strode up to her and leant over, a hand resting on each corner of her desk.

'For your information Miss Smith, I don't have pets. Can't stand the little buggers. But I do appreciate people who work hard and strive to do well. Two things clearly not on your list of life's essential requirements.'

Sarah looked down at her hands for a moment, and then as Mr. Brown walked away, she threw a look of pure evil to Ellie.

'I warned you,' she hissed, this time in a whisper even the supersonic Mr. Brown couldn't hear.

Chapter 4

School was over. Ellie headed quickly to the cloakroom to grab her coat, and get away before Sarah and her mates arrived. She wasn't quick enough.

They were there, five of them. Standing laughing innocently together, looking like butter wouldn't melt. Not even thinking about getting their coats and going home.

It seemed like they were waiting for someone.

Ellie swallowed hard. She had no choice. It was still snowing outside and she had to get her coat and scarf. Strangely enough, her peg was directly behind Sarah and her cronies. She forced a smile, and walked up to them as confidently as she could.

'Excuse me Sarah, can I get to my coat please?'

'No you can't.'

'I need to get home, and cook my grandfather his tea. My grandmother is in hospital,' she pleaded.

'Aw... poor little Ellie. Got no mum or dad anymore, so has to live with wrinklies.'

'Please don't.'

'Please don't...' retorted Sarah sarcastically.' Well maybe I want to. I've just about had enough of your smartarse attitude.'

'I don't have an attitude.'

The girls surrounding her laughed menacingly. Sarah glanced around the cloakroom, realising they were almost alone. Then she made her move.

Ellie found herself thrust back against the wall, Sarah's arm behind her, grabbing her long hair. She pulled down hard, wrenching Ellie's head back, and making her eyes water with the pain.

'You're hurting me,' she cried.

Sarah was tall. A good few inches taller than her prey. She pressed her body against Ellie's, her eyes piercing an evil stare down into her upturned face. 'You think this hurts? Oh sweet ugly Wisp, I've not started yet. You really get under my skin, you know that?'

'Why?' Ellie managed to gasp through the pain of having her hair almost ripped out.

She didn't get an answer. Another voice spoke.

'Leave her alone, Sarah.'

Ellie’s hair was freed, as Sarah let go and spun round. One of the older boys was standing next to them with a couple of his mates.

'Butt out, Will, this is nothing to do with you,' Sarah growled angrily.

'Maybe not, but you should stop bullying Ellie.’

Sarah looked at him in disbelief. 'Oh, so now you fancy the little shrimp do you?'

He laughed cynically, and threw a disdainful look to Ellie. 'What, her? Don't be stupid. I just think you should get off her back.'

'Well I don't.'

Will took her hand, moving her away a little. 'Come on Sarah, your mother will be outside in the car, and the roads are getting bad. Just leave it, yeah?'

'S'pose.'

Ellie tried to get her breath. Sarah, her mates and the three boys turned and walked away. Her scalp hurt like hell, and her heart was thumping against her ribs. She ran to the washroom, splashed water on her face, and then shut herself in a cubicle, sitting on the toilet with her face in her hands.

Why? Why did everyone hate her so much? She did nothing to upset anyone, and kept herself to herself. Why did Sarah Smith even care so much about making her life a misery?

She felt tears of frustration welling up once more, told herself not to be such a wuss, and managed to stop them coming. She went back to the mirror, and combed through her hair even though it made her wince.

She wasn't going to let anyone see how close to the end of her rope she was. That would inevitably get back to Sarah, and then she’d know she’d won. That couldn’t happen. Given the knowledge her bullying was having the desired effect, it would for sure only get worse.

Ellie tried to smile through her desolation, but a smile wouldn’t seem to come. She was all too aware another awful day wasn't yet over.

She still had to go home and face her grandfather.

She walked slowly back to the cloakroom, and realised she wasn't on her own. Someone else was there, fiddling with his bag, trying to appear busy.

'Thank you, Will.'

He looked up and smiled. 'You ok?'

'My head hurts.'

'I'm... I'm sorry about that.'

'Why? Why do you even care about me?'

He didn't answer for a moment, looking down to the floor. 'I don't like to see anyone getting bullied, that's all.'

'Better not look at me too much then.'

He pulled a face, and looked genuinely sad. 'She's a bitch, that Sarah.'

'What? You’re always hanging around together, she's your girlfriend.'

He nodded slowly. 'Doesn't mean I have to agree with everything she does.'

'She won't let you forget what you did a few minutes ago. You stopped her having fun.'

'Tough. She doesn't rule me.'

'She'd like to.'

Ellie pulled her coat around her shoulders, making sure her long hair was on the outside so the collar didn't tug it painfully. Still it didn't seem like Will wanted to go.

'She's jealous of you, you know,' he said quietly.

'Don't be insane. How could she possibly be jealous of me?'

'Because you're fit and clever.'

Ellie laughed. 'Fit, me? I'm just plain and ordinary. Sarah's the gorgeous one.'

'Maybe helped a bit by stuff you can go out and buy.' He moved closer, and took off Ellie’s glasses. 'See, you're fit... in the best way. Naturally.'

She took the glasses back, and walked away nervously, unused to anyone being nice to her.

'Well thank you Will, but you don't have to be caring. I'm ok now.' She started to walk into the corridor, but Will pulled her back.

'I do care... just don't throw it back in my face. And don't do yourself down.'

She smiled to him, wary of the sudden kindness. They walked together to the school gates, and left in opposite directions. The streets and houses were covered white, a couple of inches of snow that was starting to freeze over. Ellie shuddered. It was cold, but the memories of a year ago didn't help keep her warm.

As she walked quickly, she couldn’t stop thinking about her conversation with Will. What was it all about anyway? He was one of the leaders of the gang… the crew who called themselves Heaven’s Angels. They rode around the streets on mountain bikes, a pack of both boys and girls. They never caused any trouble. They just seemed to have fun, enjoying themselves, like friends did.

Ellie felt a pang of envy. More than once she’d thought how nice it would be to ride with them, feel like she was part of something that mattered.

It would never be. The likes of her wouldn’t be welcome, and she could never afford a bike anyway.

Will seemed different to the other boys. His hair was quite long, and jet black. He had a kind of built-in confidence too. Not ballsy and forced like Sarah’s, more the kind that seemed to glow from somewhere inside. It felt like he led from the front without even trying, and had friends who wanted to be friends, not herd animals.

So why would someone like Will care about her? It didn't make any sense.

Then it hit her. She stopped walking, fighting back the tears of realisation. Her heart sank to the floor once again. Suddenly she knew what was going on.

She was being set up. Sarah and Will were playing games. Making her think he really liked her, building her up ready for a total humiliation, followed quickly by Sarah moving in for the kill.

They thought she was a fool, would be so overawed by Will’s attention she'd be a sitting duck. It wasn’t going to work, now she'd seen through the deception.

She should have known better. Will's compliments had given her a warm feeling inside. Something she hadn't felt for a long time.

Not anymore.

Now she was chilled to the bone again.

Chapter 5

Ellie called at the shop on her way home, to buy a few onions with some of the money her grandmother had left for her. She wanted to try and please her grandfather by making him something nice for his dinner. Then perhaps he wouldn't get angry.

It had been another horrible day at school. She wasn't sure she could take a horrible evening too.

He grunted an acknowledgement to her greeting as she walked in, but didn't look up from the newspaper he was reading. The sitting room was a fog of smoke, like he'd been puffing away on the pipe from the moment he'd come downstairs that morning.

She changed her clothes quickly and went straight into the kitchen. She was a little later home from school that day, and her grandfather wouldn't be pleased if his dinner was a minute after it should be. He liked simple food… sausage and mashed potato was one of his favourites. So that's what she would cook, except this time she was going to make it a little more special, so he'd like it even more.

She kept her eye on the kitchen clock, but her timing was good. At exactly five-thirty the two plates were placed on the table, and her grandfather called to eat. He sat down opposite her, looking at the food on his plate without speaking. A pang of unease passed over her... surely he would like it?

He didn't look up. 'What is this?' he asked menacingly.

'Sausage and mash, granddad,' Ellie said nervously. 'Your favourite.'

'What is this muck over the top?'

'I... I've made an onion gravy, so it’s a bit special for you. It's really nice… try it, you'll see.'

Still he didn't move. 'And why is the mash a funny colour?'

'I put a little mustard in it. You like mustard, the same as you have on your ham sandwiches.'

She noticed his chest begin to swell as his breathing became heavier, and felt the dread in her stomach that turned quickly to nausea. She’d done the wrong thing.

'Did I ask you to mess around with my food?' His voice was low, threatening.

'No granddad, but please... please try it. You'll really like it...' Her voice faltered, as she realised the inevitable was about to happen.

The simmering anger boiled over. He stood up in a rage. Then he threw the plate. It smashed against the fireplace wall, the food splattering everywhere.

'Can you not even do a simple thing right?' he roared, undoing the clasp of his belt with hands shaking with fury. Ellie backed away from him, her eyes wide with terror. She glanced furtively around the room, searching for something to defend herself. It looked like she might be able to make the doorway.

'You're not going to batter me again, granddad,' she cried out. 'Not ever again.'

'Oh, you think not?' he sneered, the leather belt swinging from his big hand. 'There's no one here to protect you, Ellie.'

She waited out the moment, seconds until he was almost on her. They were on the opposite side of the room from the door. She picked up a china ornament from the dresser, and threw it at him as she began to run for her life. It missed his head by inches, but gave her the chance she needed to reach the door.

She made the bottom of the stairs, but he moved faster than she thought he could. The belt cracked into her bare legs as she flew up the stairs. She cried out with the pain as it lashed into her a second time, but then she was clear of its reach. She slammed her bedroom door behind her, grateful for once that her grandparents hadn't updated the house, and the original panelled doors with their build-in locks were still fitted.

She turned the key and held her breath. A big fist hammered on the door, her grandfather’s crazed voice shouting at her to come out and face her punishment.

'No!' she shouted back. 'You're just a bully and a coward. Leave me alone!'

For a moment there was silence, and then he spoke in a deep, growling voice. 'Have it your way, Ellie. But don't you dare come out of that room again tonight. You know what will be waiting for you if you do.'

Ellie White had no intention of leaving her room.

She was all too aware what would happen if she did.

Chapter 6

As her grandfather shuffled back down the stairs Ellie turned and leaned against the door, desolate eyes pitching up to the dingy ceiling. Her calves hurt like hell from where the belt had lashed into them, but the pain in her heart was far worse.

How could he be so evil? He never used to be… before her parents died she used to love her visits. He was a kind, happy man then. Now he was nothing but an evil violent bully, and she was the one on the end of his constant rage.

Why her? She'd never done anything to upset him, not that she knew. Except make onion gravy and put mustard in his mash. She didn't understand, and no one was there to give her the answers. She didn't understand any of it, and couldn't get her head around why nobody in the whole world liked her.

Her head hurt from where Sarah tried to pull her hair out by the roots. Her legs smarted so badly from where the belt had whipped into her, they were throbbing. She felt sick from the fear of life at home and life at school, and a desperate anger she couldn't explain began to well up inside her… an anger directed at her parents, who had gone forever and forced her to live a life in hell.

Her bottom lip began to tremble. She couldn't control it anymore. Her eyes filled with tears, and there was no fight left in her to stop them falling.

Ellie White had reached the end of her road.

She cried out in her anguish as the tears streamed down her face. She fell onto the bed, and covered her head with a pillow. Then, once the tears had been allowed to come, she cried her heart out like she'd never cried before, not even when her parents died. Then she'd tried to be strong, and not let herself shed too many tears so she could be brave for others.

Now her spirit was gone, battered out of her by a world that didn't seem to care. Ellie didn't care anymore either. She sobbed out the tears that had been bottled up somewhere deep inside for a year. Unstoppable tears of grief and fear, which soaked her pillow and matted her hair.

The desolate tears of a thirteen-year-old girl, who had already experienced a lifetime's worth of unhappiness.

Ellie didn't know how long she'd cried in the darkness; it seemed to her like hours. Finally there were no tears left to cry. She sat up, and switched on her bedside lamp. Her stomach hurt from the crying, her scalp was just as painful, and as she looked at her legs they were still red from the belt.

She was hungry. Her dinner was probably still sitting on the dining table. She wouldn't eat that night. Her mouth was dry so she picked up a small tumbler from the bedside table that fortunately she'd forgotten to take back to the kitchen that morning, and slowly turned the key in the lock.

Quietly she opened the door a little, stood still and listened. The TV was on in the sitting room, her grandfather still downstairs. She tiptoed across the upstairs hall to the bathroom, praying he wouldn't hear the creak of the floorboards.

Quickly she filled the glass from the basin tap, drank the water in one go, and filled it again. She caught sight of her reflection in the mirror, and turned away instantly. She was a mess, couldn't even bear to look at herself. Creeping back across the hallway, she closed and locked her door once again.

Back in the safety of her room she undressed for bed, and took a last look through the window. It had stopped snowing, but there was a thick white carpet on the ground.

It looked exactly like it had done a year ago.

She climbed into bed and lay on her back for a few minutes, trying to think of something nice to help encourage sleep. There was nothing nice. Everything was awful.

She couldn't go on, not like she was. Today had been an even worse day than normal… but in a way it was so awful it had stirred something inside her.

She turned off the lamp, and pulled the duvet up over her head. Exhausted, sleep came unexpectedly quickly... but before it did, Ellie White told herself she was going to have to make big changes in her life, before it was too late.